Ohhh, Robert Q. You have such an amazing name. And one time, on your show, you announced that you'd be appearing at The Lake Club, in Springfield, IL, and I got all excited. Hope you made it there before the owner burned it down in an insurance fraud scam.
But what we really came for, of course, is... I dunno, some dame? Doll? Dish?
You know she just wanted to perfect the art of beating people with sacks of sweet valencia oranges. It doesn't leave a bruise, and let's 'em know who's boss.